"We are all of us living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde
"Adventure is worthwhile in itself." ~Amelia Earhart

March 18, 2008

Wandering Through Minneapolis

Yesterday morning, I decided to challenge myself and go on a longer walk than usual. The goal was to get to Lake Nokomis and turn back. Once I got there, I decided hoodies weren't sufficient protection against the cold so I decided to head downtown on a bus and buy a proper hat.

I turned at the next intersection. I wasn't completely certain where I was going but I always have a general idea of where I am in south Minneapolis. I found myself at Minnehaha Creek.

So, of course, I thought I was...a half-mile from where I actually was. I'm not very familiar with the bus lines around here and wanted to jump on a bus that I knew would take me downtown and not some suburb I've never set foot in. Or *shudder* St. Paul. Have I mentioned how much I hate St. Paul, MN and its wacky address system? Well, now I have. I walked another mile or so to the bus stop. Uphill. In the snow. Goddamn kids these days.

Sure, I could have stopped at a different bus stop and asked the driver for directions but the story is never quite as good if I don't torture myself in some way. Besides, I wouldn't have encountered this!

My first thought upon reading the sign wasn't "Oh, yay! We're all saved!". (Which would be a strange thought coming from an atheist.) It was 'Um, did you see it? Didn't you try to kill it? Haven't you people watched Pet Sematary?!? Or any zombie movie since "Night of the Living Dead?!? Dead things belong dead, dammit!' I quickly snapped a photo and wondered if there was somebody sitting inside the house of the lawn the sign was perched on. I pictured a little elderly woman who knew that I was going to post it on the internet and make fun of it. As I prepared to get thumped on the head with a bible by an angry geriatric, I shoved my camera back in my pocket and quickened my pace until I arrived at the bus stop.

After a short bus ride, I arrived downtown and remembered that I had never taken pictures of the floundering City Center. I went there and snapped off a blurry* photo. A blond, slender business woman warned me that the management doesn't allow people to take pictures inside the building. I replied, "Oh! They don't? Whoops!" (I'm a brilliant conversationalist in real life.) I shoved my camera and its contraband photo into my pocket and scurried on to my next destination; the downtown Target. Luckily, no meaty security guards with violent criminal records beat me down in the Minneapolis skyway system. I'm such a rebel.

City Center
I arrived at Target and thought, 'Soon! My quest** will be complete! I will have a winter hat!' I dodged my way through various shoppers and asked a clerk where the winter hats were only to discover...they'd stopped selling them this year. :-( I sighed and trudged my way back home past two Scandinavian tourists who were taunting our wide selection of low fat, low carb, and sugar-free grocery selections and a fellow bus passenger who'd occasionally blurt out, "So, then, I says to the guy..." to nobody in particular.

The End

*It's actually a good thing that the picture ended up blurry. It saved me an extra step of blurring out the faces of passersby. I'd hate to end up in somebody else's tourist photos and I imagine other people would too. At least the duckies don't mind.


**Sign #23 that you play too much World of Warcraft: Real life objectives become 'quests'.


franscud said...

That was a pretty epic journey, with physical and spiritual hazards along the way. Even if the quest wasn't fulfilled, for your noble efforts there was a fitting reward on iced over pond :).

Berryvox said...

Yeah, tons of ducks and geese hang out around that pond. I keep hoping to get a closer photo of the geese. You can stand right next to most of them without them flying away. The ducks aren't quite so brave.

franscud said...

I've heard stories about geese not only being brave, but sometimes quite nasty toward intruders. Maybe that's just around Chicago though. Btw, I shared the Jesus as zombie concept with a small group of friends at the local cafe and much merriment ensued ... I'm sure that says something about the folks I choose to hang out with.

S.W. Lussing said...

Talk about Geese! Stay away from Toronto Island. They're grazers/poopers. They do both at the same time. Damn nuisances. They disgust me.

I live close to the lake - used to walk all the time, lots of park and trail. I like those lonesome pictures. Just like Tuesday.

I mostly blog on baudrunner's space and write on Helium now.

FerdC ~ Crazy Medical Cases said...

You guys are making me laugh with the "Jesus as zombie" thing. Now I have a mental picture of Jesus dancing in Thriller with the other zombies.

kebelle said...

That was quite a long walk, and it so happened that there was a religious nuissance along the way.

Berryvox said...

franscud - Oh no! Now I'm going to be neurotic when passing the geese.

Actually, a friend of mine had a similar story. She was sitting in a park in downtown eating lunch. The squirrels there are so used to humans feeding them that, eventually, seven chubby little squirrels surrounded her, begging her for food. She said she threw the remainder of her sandwich at them and ran away.

Lussing - It's the crows you have to watch out for around here. God, they're noisy. Hee, I've written for Helium on occasion. The rating system always makes me neurotic though.

FerdC - Mwahaha, I think Jesus may end up a character in my Sims neighborhood.

Kebelle - There often is. Even though I've been a lifelong atheist, I'm fascinated by other people's beliefs and notice religious activities more than the everyday happenings.

Jane Doe said...

I'm from the MPLS area too! You took some very beautiful pics. And I love the bit about the Jesus sign. You had me choking on my coffee. I would have made fun of it too.

Berryvox said...

Jane - The Lake Nokomis one turned out better than I expected. Would've been nicer with blue skies but oh well. The creek will be much nicer in the spring/summer.

I'm always up for making fun of Jesus!

Lucky Lady said...

I truly enjoyed reading your blog and looking at the pictures very good

Titania Starlight said...

Those were great pics you took on your journey. I got a kick out of the holy roller sign. Though I am not an atheist nor a Christian, I do not have much fondness for irrational extremist Christians. They scare the shit out of me. With all that hate, gloom and doom. Geesh! I could imagine a crazy old lady with a gazillion cats staring out the window and having the television tuned into some crazy ass tele-evangelist! AUGH!!!! LOL.

Duckies are sweet. :O)

Berryvox said...

Lucky Lady - Thanks! I always love seeing your blog on BotB. :)

Titania - Oh, yeah. There's extremists in every religion. A few of the atheists are just as bad as the extremist Christians. Agnostic is actually closer to my beliefs but I'm so far on the atheist side that I just say 'atheist'.

S.W. Lussing said...

I was talking to a neighbour outside just now and a couple of Jehova's Witnesses making the rounds i nthe 'hood walked up to us to invite him to a meeting at the Assembly Hall Saturday to celebrate the death of Jesus (!?). He said he wasn't interested.

They turned to me, "how about you?"

I said, "Nah, I already got it all figured out."

The neighbour laughed like crazy - kind of took me by surprise. I was serious!

berryvox: I know what you mean about Helium. I'm rating articles like crazy to get that third rating star by April 14 so I can cash in. I already have $94 as at Wednesday but I can only collect if I can get that last star.

Berryvox said...

"to celebrate the death of Jesus (!?)"

Haha! Yeah, we get at least one weekly visit from either the Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons around here. The odd thing is they never came around to my childhood home a couple miles north. Maybe the neighborhood gave them the creeps.

Yeah, rating articles got a lot slower when they upped the minimum word count. Not that I mind otherwise. The quality did go up once they raised the character limit.