"We are all of us living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde
"Adventure is worthwhile in itself." ~Amelia Earhart

April 25, 2008

Why Boys Have Cooties


Oh my God. Suburban kids get the most fantabulous playgrounds. I'm so jealous of this one in Bloomington, MN. The one me and my friends played on was next to my elementary school. It only had sand, a straight slide, a few swings, and a set of straight monkey bars. And the monkey bars sucked. Not because of any fault with the equipment itself but because every time you'd try to prove your physical prowess by swinging across as fast as you could, one of the older boys would come at you from the other side to play chicken. Basically, this was a game they had where they'd meet their opponent on the monkey bars, wrap their legs around him or her, and try to pull them down. I always lost. And that's the real reason boys have cooties when you're seven. If I'd only known about the 'knee meets groin' move back then...

The swings on this playground stink though. They're only five feet tall. How can you swing to the top and perform a death-defying leap from 10 feet up and fling yourself off the swing and across the park when you reach the top? The silly playground designers probably thought we actually cared about the swinging bit.

8 comments:

Alexander M Zoltai said...

I was a boy.

Finally got rid of some of the cooties...

That knee in the groin move is something men should receive regularly; unless they incorporate equality into their perceptive faculties...

~ Alex

franscud said...

I was going to comment, but Alex's is so awesome, I'll defer for now.

Roxiticus Desperate Housewives said...

Ha ha, thanks for the laugh today...you got my Battle of the Blogs vote!

As a mom, I was so lucky to end up with two girls because I've discovered that many many boys still do have cooties. Big boys and little boys. I have noticed this on the playground and when they come to my home. My new explanation of why they have cooties is that I have to ask the little boys to check their weapons at the door, and even then, you never know when the fairy godmother's magic wand will be transformed into a sword! The big boys who have cooties are the fathers who call it "babysitting" when they are in charge of their own kids.

Andrew said...

I just discovered you today! What have I been missing? Found you on Tory's blog. Plugged you into Google Reader and will be reading from know on. Take care and thanks for all the times you commented on my blog. It means alot to me!!!

Victor said...

When we got bored with jumping off the swings we used to see who could kick their shoes the farthest while swinging ... lol.

The way safety regulations are going, pretty soon swings won't even move or maybe people will have to sign a waiver and pay to get on them.

Berryvox said...

Alexander - Heh, most boys learn to behave by the time they hit their twenties. The rest are...the reason I will never volunteer at a shelter for abused women. Eventually, I'm pretty sure I'll use the move on them.

Francis - It is pretty awesome.

Roxiticus - The TV show, Nanny 911, is the most perfect form of birth control I've found. The boys usually are worse.

Andrew - Well, I just recently started blogging regularly. I was easy to miss. :) The camera made it more fun.

Victor - That's why I'm always finding stray shoes near playgrounds.

Ugh, probably the second option for the safety regulations.

RoxiticusDH said...

Back for another BotB vote on Sunday morning. I think Nanny 911 actually works for me...she keeps my little girls in line and then we cackle together about what a mess OPK (other people's kids) are...

Roxy

Berryvox said...

Roxy - Hehe, I love that show.