"We are all of us living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde
"Adventure is worthwhile in itself." ~Amelia Earhart

August 20, 2008

I Scream Like a Five-Year-Old Girl

Maybe I shouldn't ask for excitement.

Sunday night, I was sitting at the dining room table watching the Olympic gymnastics. All of a sudden, something comes flying out of the hallway and straight toward my head. Out of instinct, I screamed and dove through the door into the kitchen while shouting "What the F*** was that?!?" I looked back and whatever it was (a bird? a bat?) was circling around the living room.

"What is that?" My mother said.
"I don't know. A bird?"

While I cowered in the corner, she opened the door and tried to get the animal to go outside. It didn't get the hint and continued to circle the room near the ceiling.

"Get a broom," she said. (She wasn't going to hurt it. Just urge it outside.)

To get to the garage where the broom is kept, I had to walk through the living room, into the kitchen and out onto the porch on the side of the house. So, I tiptoed quickly through the living room. Then, the creature flew over my head. I screamed like a five-year-old girl, fell onto all fours, and crawled the rest of the way. I found one of my cats sitting in the porch and, since I didn't want the cat to hurt the creature, I grabbed her, ran back through the living room, and put the cat in one of the bedrooms.

"Where's the broom?!?" My mother said.
"The cat. She was on the porch."
"What? Where's the broom?" Hmmph, somebody wasn't listening.
"K.C. I didn't want her to hurt it."

I tried to run back through the living room again to get to the garage. The flying creature crossed overhead again. I shrieked again.

"Oh, for Chrissake. You hold the door. I'll get the broom."
"Okay," I replied glad to be out of the creature's flying range and ran outside to hold the door open.
"Wait. It's stuck."
"It's stuck in the plant," she said as she pointed to a tall bamboo plant in the corner of the room. I peeked back into the living room and noticed that the creature was gone from sight.
"Do you have thick gloves?"
"No. Just yarn ones."

As she went off in search of gloves, I continued to hold the door open. Because there was no way in hell I was going back into the room. Eventually, she found a pair, grabbed the bat, and sent it off out the front door.

I haven't screamed like that in years. The last time was when I tried to grab a frog and it moved when I touched it. I've just crossed zookeeping off my list of possible career choices. o.O


Ferd said...

I'm catching up on your posts, and sure glad I didn't miss this one!
Yeah, not zookeeper material for sure!! LOL
Have you checked your neck for bite marks??
I know you did!!! ; )

Berryvox said...

Nope, didn't check for bite marks. Until you asked. :D